The most disjointed obituary you'll ever read.

Why is Eddie Vedder here? Because our writing has such an even flow.

Do you like CDs? SEE DEEZ BATTERIES

Anyway.

When flying next to an 8-year-old is more fun than being in the place you are flying to, that’s also what we call “a sign.”

Listen. Did I sneak my own REI-brand 32-ounce bottle of red wine into the theater tonight? Shhh. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, baby. It ain’t your concern.

“What I do have are a very particular set of skills.”

A few things happened last week. My sister bought me an awesome coffee maker for my birthday, and a good friend of mine died suddenly.